When spouses have children, the breakdown of their relationship ends their spousal relationship but their parenting relationship continues in one form or another. Generally, the children will cope with your separation as well as you and your spouse do. It is important to focus on your children's need for reassurance, if possible reminding them that both of you love them and will continue to be their parents. Children need to know how they will be taken care of and to be assured that they will not be expected to take sides in your dispute with your spouse.

When you separate, you will have to consider how the two of you will parent your children after your separation, bearing in mind that the parenting relationship is a lifelong relationship, whether or not it is a positive relationship. Except in the most extreme circumstances, a child should have as much contact with both parents after a separation, as is reasonably possible. It is important to remember that almost every parent has both strengths and weaknesses, and something to offer his or her child.

The parenting arrangement you end up with will largely depend on the particular circumstances of your case including: the ages and special needs of the children, the roles each of you played in the upbringing of your children before separation, you and your spouses hours of work out of the home, the distance between you and your former spouse's new home and, depending on the children's ages, their preferences. There are many other factors to consider and your family law lawyer will take the time to review them with you.

Whenever possible, it is important to work towards a parenting agreement both you and your spouse can work with. There are counselling and mediation services available which can help you and your spouse set aside your differences and focus on the needs of your children during the stressful time of marriage breakdown.

Of course, there are situations, such as family violence and drug abuse, in which mediation and counselling are not appropriate and the children's interests may be best met by being in the exclusive custody of one parent, with very limited contact with the other parent.